“So, you’re alive.”

“Eh,” says the zombie, wiggling a hand “I’m like two-thirds dead and I’m pretty sure there’s a pigeon in my ribcage, so I wouldn’t go that far.”

“What if-”

“You died.”

“What- no. That’s not what I was going to say.”

“What’s wrong with dying.” asks the zombie “Are you saying dying is bad?”

“I- uh. Yes? Yes, dying is bad.”

“Yeah, it kinda is,” says the zombie “Sorry were you two discussing something important?”

“Why did you buy fourteen axes last night?” “In case of emergency.” “What kind of emergency? There are four axes in the kitchen. What kind of emergency needs four axes that happens in the kitchen?” “You know…”