“Sooo, wanna go on a date?” asks the succubus, finally.

“Hm?” hums the angel who is busy reading a book on early feminist theory.

“I mean, you’ve been feeding me (thanks for that) for a few months now. I feel like maybe we should hit up a movie together.”

“Oh!” the angel carefully slides zir bookmark onto the page and closes it “Well we could. That sounds nice to be honest.”

“Great! We can see-”

“Let’s go see the new Saw! Or perhaps The Quiet Place.”

“You’re such a fool,” xe grins “You’re so cute. And stupid.”

“Thanks, I think?”

“Hnn, don’t be… kind. I’ve never met a person as kind as you. It’ll get you killed.” xe sniffs, and fixes zir with a look “You’re not allowed to get killed, understand. I need you.”

“I didn’t know you could bleed.”

Xe snorts “I was human, once. Or maybe I still am, under all the foul magick.”

“My dear friends,” xe takes a deep breath “My family, my community. I regret to tell you this news, because I love you. But I know I must.”

Xe gazes out at the room full of people, and tries not to cry “Bill S-37 passed last night. It will be law.”

“We need to keep going.”

“We left xir- we left [X]! We must go back.”

“Calm down!” [Y] takes [Z] by the shoulders, and gives [Z] a rough shake “Are you forgetting who [X] is? You’re doing xir a disservice by worrying.”

“Are you saying [X] isn’t one of us? I though we didn’t leave anyone behind!”

“[X] is an exception.”

“Am I alive?” 

“…What?”

“Am I alive? I can’t be- I died, it hurt, I remember how it hurt- I was so scared. This doesn’t make any sense.”

“Calm down- It’s going to be okay!.”

“You look scared.”

“Yeah. Obviously.”

“…Good. You’re more likely to survive that way. Remember- the Goddex is not cruel, or merciless. Be a good sacrifice, and be careful never to let xir at your underbelly.”

“Oh hell,” xe swears, and then points at the child strictly “Don’t tell your parents I said that.”

“Just like I’m not supposed to tell them you-”

“Yes.” xe sniffs “I should get paid more for this. 15 bucks an hour was great until it turned out you’re the actual fucking Antichrist.”

“Swear jar.”

“Hush, kid.”

“Hi.”says the stranger “You’re [X], from OKCupid?”

“Yep,” xe responds, lightly strangled. Xe’s never seen [villain]’s face while in uniform but xe knows that voice “Yep, that’s me. You look.. Wow.”

“The sheer force of my intense loathing is causing my physical body to vibrate out of this plain of existence”

“Pretty sure that’s all the caffeine you’ve been drinking.”