“Are you okay? You seem a little down.”

“No, I’m fine. I’m just on my menses. Unrelated but do you have any chocolate. Please.”

“Eat my ass.”

“Says the assless person.”

“Feed me.”

“FUCK- what are you doing in my house??”

“[X] said you made cookies. I want cookies. Please. [Y]. Please. [Y], cookies!!”

“MotherFUCKER!”

“Nope, I’ve never met either of your parents.”

“You’re moonsick,” says the witch, rolling xir eyes “It happens when the full moon comes on your menses. Symptoms include eating rude people because you’re hangry.”

The werewolf frowns “Well, make it go away.”

“Sorry! You’ll have to wait out the moon. Eat some ice cream so you’re less hungry next time you get catcalled.”

“I think,” says the zombie “That when I go somewhere instead of saying ‘hi’ people should say ‘press F to pay respects’ and then they flip me off.”

“It’s going to be okay, child,” hums the strange witch “No harm will befall you when you walk next to me.”

“Who are you? Why are you helping me?”

The witch smiles, pain creasing the edges of xir eyes and says “An old friend.”

“You’re a mess!”

“I’m an entire dumpster.”

“I’m so exhausted I want to peel off my skin and die.”

“Pretty sure that feeling isn’t exhaustion, buddy.”

“You killed everyone. You didn’t have to do that! They would have surrendered. We could have spared them.”

“I will not be a fool, who dies at the hands of false subjects, cowards who surrender due to fear.” says the Lox to be “I rule those who are under my command.”