“What’s in your mouth.”

The werewolf makes a guilty face and chews faster.

“How do you do, small dog?” the vampire grins

The alpha werewolf makes a disgruntled face “You’re shorter than me,” ey signs “And I am not dog. I am alpha.”

“If I’m teethy dog of all things, you’re small dog.”





Over on the other end of the shoppe, the witch was soothing an irate customer, who was unsure what the werewolf and vampire were doing.

“No,” says the witch “They aren’t making rude gestures at you. They’re using sign language. Seriously, nobody cares about you, random human.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud,” says the witch “No, that’s a lie. You’re both goblin children and I should have expected this.”

“[Witch]-” starts the vampire, but the witch raises a hand to cut zir off.

“If you two are going to date, there is no tomfoolery in my shop,” says the witch sternly.

“We’re not dating! You’re misinterpreting the situation!” says the vampire desperately.

The alpha werewolf frowns “You don’t find me desirable?” ey signs “I thought we had something special.”

“Where’s the dog,” asks the alpha “Dog dog dog! [Witch] says you have a new dog for me.”

“No!” protests the vampire, holding the puppy to zir chest “My dog!”

The alpha squints.

“No fighting over puppies in my shoppe,” says the witch from where xe’s been pretending to be asleep “Hand over the puppy, [Vampire].”

“You got to keep the dragon!”

“Yeah, ‘cause the dragon is a dragon and I’m an adult.”

“I’m an adult.” the vampire pouts.

“Are you really, though?”

“You’re not going to die,” says the witch “You’re already dead. Duh.”

“You aren’t very nice,” frowns the vampire “I’m afraid of heights.”

“I noticed. We’re twenty feet up. Just go for it.”

They’re standing on the middle-height diving board. [Alpha], in all eir alpha-ness had rented out a pool for the pack to use without worry of being a bunch of rowdy werewolves in public.

“I’m just going to climb down-” the vampire starts, only to be blocked by the witch’s hand. Xe is fully dressed, rings, layered robes, shoes and all.

“[Vampire]. Jump off the fucking diving board.”

“Kiss me?” signs the alpha

The witch blinks in surprise “Kiss you? Absolutely not.”

The alpha frowns, disgruntled “But witch, I am very cute, and you are very cute. I saw this in a book. Several books.”

“[Witch] and [Alpha], sitting in a tree!” the vampire hoots.

“Did you put eir up to this?” demands the witch.

“Do not,” growls the witch “Kill the foolish human.”

The alpha frowns. Ey is sitting on the chest of some human, a stranger who had catcalled the witch using vulgar words, offense words.

The witch takes on a more patient tone of voice “Human culture involves being very rude to strangers, it’s not a murderable offense.”

“Rude,” alpha signs “Kill the human.”

“Please do not.”

“These are my dogs,” signs the werewolf to the TSA agent “This one is tea dog and this one is teethy dog and the others are all wolf dog.”

The TSA agent looks appropriately befuddled, so [Witch] assumes the agent doesn’t know sign which, thank goodness. Or maybe the agent does and doesn’t know what the fuck [Alpha] is on about.

“Relax, [Alpha].” says the witch “I’ll just.”

The TSA agent waves them all through easily enough, despite the non-airport safe materials they’re all carrying. It’s a good thing [Witch] knows enough of the mind arts to obscure how fucking weird they all are.