“You’re moonsick,” says the witch, rolling xir eyes “It happens when the full moon comes on your menses. Symptoms include eating rude people because you’re hangry.”
The werewolf frowns “Well, make it go away.”
“Sorry! You’ll have to wait out the moon. Eat some ice cream so you’re less hungry next time you get catcalled.”
“I haven’t hurt anyone.” xe protests “Do we really need all this fuss?”
the cop tightens the handcuffs further, already painfully pinching the bones “For a person like you?”
“You afraid of the big bad wolf?” xe grins “You’d think, if you were afraid of what I can do as a werewolf, you’d muzzle me. But I have rights you know. And I will be talking about your conduct with my attorney.”
“I send all the people I’m interested in flirting with dog pics.”
“Yeah! Everyone likes dogs. And if they don’t I know we can’t date because I’m a werewolf.”
“Is the dog you’re sending them pictures of you or-”
The werewolf smiles vacantly at the witch.
The witch glares.
In the background, something shatters loudly.
“Take the dogs.” demands the witch “They aren’t mine.”
“They aren’t ours.” says the werewolf pleasantly “And [Alpha] is sick and unable to override that decision for the next several days. Give your dogs to someone else.”
“Does it hurt?”
“No, not at all.” soothes the werewolf “It feels like an unpleasant rash. Itchy and hot, but not excruciating.”
The new wolf frowns, scratches the place where the bite is still healing “Are you sure?”
“If you’ve had chickenpox, you’ve had worse than turning. Honest!”
“How did you know I was a werewolf?”
“…I could’ve been gardening.”
“I took a bit of a gamble on that, granted, but I was right.”
“Oh wow, you have a lot of-”
“Children.” xe says, gesturing at the dogs sleeping in a pile “Those are my children.”
“Hey,” says the witch “Come here.”
“Who?” asks the vampire “Me, or [Alpha werewolf]?”
“Neither, I was talking to the dragon. You’re both useless at gardening.”
“[X] is just a puppy,” grins the werewolf, gesturing to the sleeping child “Cute, right? When we’re young, people are too enamored by how cute we are. How non-threatening. You followed [X] right to our den because xe’s just a sweet kid.”
“Look, whatever it is you want.” starts the human, but the werewolf cuts zir off.
“See, the problem is,” the werewolf snaps “We grow up. We’re predators. And you? You’re prey.”
“Is that a dog.”
the alpha’s werewolf head snaps around so fast xe worries about whiplash.
“Dog?” signs the alpha “Where dog?”