“Can I at least break xir nose?”

X didn’t even look up. “No.”

“You used to be more fun.”


“Fine! I get it! No murdering, maiming, or minorly inconveniencing!”

“If you stab me,” xe warns “I will bite you.”

“That- that doesn’t seem like a good idea, if you’ve just been stabbed.”

Xe frowns “Okay, good point. If you stab me, I will go get treated and wait until the wounds can take a bit of exercise, and then I will hunt you down and bite you.”

“There’s blood on your shirt.”

“Oh. Sorry, I’m… on my period.”

“Given the blood is on your collar, i certainly hope that’s not what it is. Did you really pick a fight with that weirdo for flirting with the waitstaff?”

“That wasn’t flirting, that was harassment! And I didn’t pick a fight I just hit xir like, eight times. And then xe bled on me.”