“How do your roses always look so good?” asks the vampire “I tried growing some once, when I lived at home, and they didn’t make it three months.”

“Bodies.” says the witch “Lot’s of nutrients in bodies.”

“These are my dogs,” signs the werewolf to the TSA agent “This one is tea dog and this one is teethy dog and the others are all wolf dog.”

The TSA agent looks appropriately befuddled, so [Witch] assumes the agent doesn’t know sign which, thank goodness. Or maybe the agent does and doesn’t know what the fuck [Alpha] is on about.

“Relax, [Alpha].” says the witch “I’ll just.”

The TSA agent waves them all through easily enough, despite the non-airport safe materials they’re all carrying. It’s a good thing [Witch] knows enough of the mind arts to obscure how fucking weird they all are.

“Who is the Goodest dragon!” croons the witch, gently scratching at the dragons belly “Who is the goodest bird!!”

“God, what the hell.” says the vampire “It’s like stepping into the twilight zone.”

“[Witch] is a person,” signs the alpha “Xe gets happy, too.”

“Yeah but xe’s so stoic!”

“Someone has to be,” the alpha shrugs “Must be exhausting.”

“Goode, Goode dragon!” xe laughs

“Hello,” says the witch.

“Hello!” chirps the dragon back. The dragon has gone from the size of a small cat to a very large dog within a few months “Hello! Hello!”

“Is it just me,” whispers the vampire “Or is [witch] being cute?”

The alpha werewolf nods back furiously.

“Breathe.” says the witch “You’re too tense.”

“I’m fine.” the vampire snaps “I’m fine, everything is fine.”

“It’s a baby,” says the witch, exasperated “Not a bomb. You’re cradling a baby, congrats, this is an art passed down for centuries.”

“Where did the baby even come from,” says the vampire, shifting the little meat turnip around a little “Like, seriously. What the fuck.”

“Where do babies ever come from.” asks the witch rhetorically “The alpha found one in a pram somewhere and decided ‘mine now’.”

“You’re alive,” signs the alpha werewolf “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” says the vampire. The sunlight is very bright “Did you know I wasn’t going to burn up when you shoved me off the balcony?”

“You need to listen to [Witch] more,” signs the alpha, waggling a finger disapprovingly “[Witch] said you will be fine!”

“So you didn’t know.”

“I trust [Witch].”

“So.” says the witch, looking over the sheer destruction of what used to be xir couch “What happened?”

“Well,” [Vampire] starts, but is cut off by [Alpha]’s shaky gesturing

“It was [Vampire]’s idea!” the alpha signs “I wanted to watch Lilo & Stitch but ze wanted to watch a scary movie!!”

“Traitor,” the vampire whispers.

“Okay, so, here’s how this is going to work.” says the vampire “I’m going to distract the witch, and you’re going to smuggle the dog into the storage room before xe notices.”

The werewolf nods furiously.

“Before I notice what?” asks the witch from behind them “The two of you causing a ruckus, yet again?”

“How many times have I told you not to play in the tea garden,” says the witch seriously. Xir arms are crossed, one foot tapping the ground irately.

The vampire and the alpha share a glance “Okay but-” starts the vampire.

“No buts! I told you, these herbs are precious and I don’t want you to dig them up!” says the witch “And what did you do?”

“In our defense, we were trying to weed the garden.” says the vampire “To be nice.”

The alpha nods enthusiastically “We were being nice!” ey signs “Good dogs!”

“It’s a magick garden. It doesn’t get weeds.”

“Oh,” the vampire frowns “Well that explains why we didn’t know what to pull.”