“Hey,” says the werewolf to the witch “Is the alpha here?”

“Nope. Shoppe’s been empty almost all day,” xe says “You’re welcome to look around though.”

“Mm,” says the werewolf “No, thanks, I’m here to ask you on a date actually, I just didn’t want the alpha to show up and eat all the food.”


“Sanctity of marriage,” the asexual mocked. “Bullshit. Nothing wrong with a one-night stand. Or a threesome, if everyone’s happy with it.”

“You’ve never even kissed another person,” the spirit signed.

“Yeah, and I don’t plan to, but that doesn’t make other people’s lives my business.” The asexual sighed. “Fucking religion, dude.”

“Hello,” says the witch when the shop bell rings “Welcome.”

“Very friendly,” the newcomer purrs “Hello there, lover.”

The witch glances up. “If you remember correctly, we actually broke up over half a decade ago. Please leave.”

“Relax,” ze frowns “I’m just here for a new athame. There’s no reason to be hostile.”

“Hmm,” hums the witch “No, there is. Get out.”

“Hey, angel?” the succubus starts, softly because it’s the middle of the night and the angel is pretending to sleep. It’s totally not because xe’s nervous, of course not.

“Mmphf.” the angel grunts, slitting open an eye reluctantly “hnph?”

“How come you’re helping me? I get you’re the ‘liberal cousin’ or whatever, but this isn’t just… not turning me in.”

“Mpph.” the angel hums “Because.”

“You want to know the truth fine, but don’t you dare say I didn’t warn you.”

“Thank you-”

“Don’t thank me you little punk. You wanted to know, right? Well you and [Antagonist]? You were married. You loved each other. But you. You’re a good person, if… reckless. But [Antagonist] loved you so much xe would’ve burned the entire world down for you. And xe did.”