“Hey, X, you know the superhero, right?”

“Um, you could say that, why do you ask?”

“Well… do you think. Um. This is embarrassing. Xe’s just so handsome and charming… Do you think xe, you know, likes me?”

Secret identities are the absolute worst. “Yeah, I – I mean. I think so,” X says, and tries to avoid shrieking with shock and happiness, which would be unhelpful in maintaining said secret identity. “You could say that.”

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“How do you accidentally end up married to a supervillain?”

“Okay, long story short, it wasn’t my fault, they started it, I’ve never lost a game of gay chicken in my life and I wasn’t about to start now.”