could you do something where parent is working for a mafia, collecting debts and stuff, and they have to take their young child with them? love you, your my god.

i am all god

also this shit is my shit. i loooveeee ooey gooey killers

since you said ‘parent’ i’ll be using ‘guardian’ and ‘guard’ instead of mom or dad, and ze for guard and xe for victims

-”Now dear, why don’t you go to the kitchen and see if the nice person has any orange juice? Guardians just going to have a chat with xir.” Guardian says with a syrupy smiles, sending the child off. “Now, either you give me something to take back to my boss, or I pull your teeth out.”

-Somehow, the sight of a debt collector with a toddler on zir shoulders was actually scarier than a debt collector alone. Guardian figured this was because everyone knows how vicious parents can get. Or maybe just zir- everyone knows there’s only one debt collector who takes a child around. So ze smiled and smiled and said “Hello. I’m here on the behalf of [mafia] and watched the colour drain from zir victims faces as they caught a glimpse of [child]. 

-”Baby, why don’t you tell me what I should take from this nice person instead of xir money?”

“Xir eyes!”

-”Fuck you!”

“Language! My baby’s present!” ze snapped, embedding a thin knife in [victim]’s ribcage.

-”Fuck!” shrieked the child delightedly “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

[victim] laughed nervously, eyeing the doorway where the kids Guardian had gone through. Hopefully ze didn’t think [victim] had taught the kid those words.

-”My guard’s the best guard!” said the child earnestly, crouching down next to the bleeding victim “You should say sorry! Guard always says that apologies are important.”

-[Mafia] wouldn’t be too pleased at losing another client, but really. [Victim] had sealed xir fate the moment xe reached for zir child. Ze wouldn’t let anything happen to zir child.

-”I can’t believe you brought your child into this.”

“My kids got more honour and cunning than you, dickhead. Where’s the fucking money?”

-”Shit.” said [victim], opening the door to the smiling faces of Guard and zir baby. “Shit. I’m so dead.”

“Just a little.” Guard agreed.”

I had this great idea where a girl(who is not the hero) knows it’s a book and has to narrate the hero’s adventures. The only thing I could come up with was “‘This isn’t a goddamn book!’ ‘Wrong.'” Prompts please?

hecking r u terry pratchett??

am i terry pratchett???

-”Listen, everything is going to be fine.” insists the hero. Xe’s terribly, horribly wrong of course. Wrong with spiders on top. But it’s cute to see xir pretend to be an optimist.

-”Have you considered,” she begins “that maybe your plot armor isn’t as airtight as you want.”

“Plot armor?”

“Main character business?? You know, you can’t die because the story would stop.” 

The hero gives her a puzzled look.

-“Oh my god, I’m Deadpool.” she says “But not immortal. Or. Burned.”

“What the fuck are you talking to?”

-”I’m gonna fucking die at some point.” she says “but not before you. Someone needs to narrate in in a deadpan snark turned fucking tragedy.”

“You’re kindof scaring me.” says the hero. what a liar. xe isn’t scared of jack, except for like. Sand.

-“I have a perpetual nat 20 on perception.”

-”If we ever get a movie adaption-”

“Who are you talking to?”

“I’m petitioning to be played by Morgan Freeman.”

“You’re a teen[?] girl?”

-”Shit, [girl], don’t worry. I’ll fix it.”

What a hecking fool. There was no saving her- she needed to be xir angst catalyst. Motivation to save the day She tried to tell xir this, but only choked up blood. 

Fucking fridging.

-”Everythings going to be fine.” she lied. Being the narrator sucks. They aren’t even at the first climax yet.

-”Sometimes the main characters die!” she shouts, leaping on the back of antagonist, “But not today!” Fuck fate. She’s a hands-on kind of narrator.

I was wondering about some prompts for verbal fights between… a supervillain and this flawed hero teenaged girl who have a father/daughter kind of relationship? Like, they’re not nemeses or anything and they get along really well sometimes but when they do fight they don’t hold anything back and are both incredibly stubborn. Sorry if that’s too specific or vague or anything!!!

i cant believe i got a super ask i feel like a celebrity everyone knows themoderntypewriter is the god of super asks okay

also this shit? this shit is my shit i love these tropes

-”Oh my god can you please not today. I know you have your, like, villain cred to maintain but I’m the only hero for like, 30 klicks-”

Villian cred? I’ve been a villain for much longer than those flashy ‘instagram criminals-’

-but I’m on my period and I really don’t wanna fight. Or exist. Also I think I’m bleeding out the bottom of my suit”

“Oh dear.”

“You just turned grey, btw.”

-”You broke my ribs.” 

“You hit me in the tit!”

“It was an accident!

“Don’t fucking fight me if you don’t want to get hurt, loser, you’ve seen what I can do.”

-”Oh my god are you really a hero? How old are you? Where are your parents?”

“Please. We’ve known each other for over a year now. I’ve punted you through an apartment complex. Let it die.”

-”I’m pretty sure I can’t bring my ~arch-nemesis~ to parent-teacher interview night.” because really, you think a professional asshole would at least have a modicum of self-awareness.

“Have your actual parents ever visited your current teachers?”

“No, but-”

“Then I’ll go out of costume. No one will know.” He says, like a supervillain pretending to be a hero’s father was a perfectly normal occurrence.

“..Will you wear a sweater vest?”

-”I can’t believe you crashed my date!”

“You deserve better.”

“So you kidnapped my senator?? And fucking called me fucking out?”

-”I mean, it’s not like it’s normal. Befriending a supervillain twice my age.” She says around a mouthful of ice cream, brandishing a spoon pseudo-threateningly

“What isn’t normal is a teenager fighting wars that soldiers can’t. Pass the mint chocolate chip.”

-”I’m bleeding!” the supervillain says casually, and then appalled. “You saved me.”

“Big, bad ‘hero’ on our tail please stop panicking.” the hero says, panicking.

-”Ahaha yes i have corrupted you!” shrieks the hero upon spotting the villain wearing a [some kind of merch] t-shirt.

-”You need to control yourself.” says the villain soothingly, approaching the hero slowly.

She pants, power arcing over her skin in violent bursts. If she lets it loose, the kind of unimaginable damage she could cause-

Well. She doesn’t have to imagine. She knows.

The villain takes another step.

hopefully these BIG FUCKING prompts make up fr the lack of activity lmao why is everything multi line

tails-of-a-dragon-rider:

As a request from @corvidprompts (a Real Cool Person, go check xem out), I will attempt to write some prompts for xem.

Prompt: “

Hi! Could I have a prompt where Person A is the President(M) and person B(F) is the secretary of state. A is worried about B because of stress, dangerous positions etc…..(Close friends)

“ (i’m going to use corvid’s usage of gender neutral pronouns for this so yeah)

*cracks knuckles* Let’s Do This S*it

Keep reading

Ur a godsend ❤ ❤ ❤

Hey @anorptron Check out these heckin cool prompts tails-of-a-dragon rider donated!!!! 

My scene just stopped. Character A got interrupted while reading (traveling) and got mad. *fuzzy tiger falls on side* I give up. She’s gonna kill them all.

is this

a prompts request?

-”EVERYONE SHUT UP I’M AT THE CLIMAX!”

“So’s ur mom.”

-”I can’t believe she left us at a gas station. Do you think she’ll come back?”

-”I’m gonna cram this headrest up your fucking ass if you don’t shut the fuck up and let me read.”

-”I just want some music.”

“I wanted to read in peace, but we don’t always get what we want. Hands off the radio, or I’ll rip it out.”

-”I think it’s illegal to keep people in the trunk.”

“Xe kept interrupting me. Like you are now.”

-The entire car ride continues on in silence. No one had expected her to eat her book out of sheer rage, and were too afraid of what might happen next to bring it up

-”Please stop reading out loud at top volume, it’s hurting my head.”

“I would read silently, but none of you can be expected to behave.”

-”I need to pee.”

“I need to read, shut the fuck up.”

-”I’ll rip out your face and shove up your fucking ass if you don’t shut the fuck off and let me finish my book.”

“Passive bookworm stereotype has been busted.”

Oh great crow, lord of the birbs! May you please supply me with some dialogue prompts? The context is that [X] just snuck into [Y]’s house because [Y] kidnapped someone but then [Y] saw [X] and they fight. Thanks and sorry I’m not sure how much sense this makes

Oh brave anon, i have heard your prayer!

[Y] kidnaps [Z]

[X] decides to snoop

[Y] sees [X] and they fight

no problemo my friend

-”Oh my god what the fuck- who is that? [Y]? What the fuckenitity?”

“What are you doing in my house?”

Who the fuck is that, [Y]?”

-”I’m like, 90% sure I didn’t let you in.”

“And I’m, like, 90% sure that person didn’t let you tie them to a chair.”

“Don’t kink shame.”

-”Why are you so mad at me breaking the fuck?”

“It’s a crime!”

So is kidnapping!”

“So, are the two of you dating?”

“Silence, [Z].”

-”Oh shit- oh shit! Don’t panic okay I’m gonna get you out of here-”

“Hello [X].”

-”I can’t believe you got the snot beaten out of you so quickly.”

“Shut up.”

“Like, really. Why break in if you knew you couldn’t take xir?”

-”Oh shit that’s a kidnapping victim.”

“Oh shit that’s a home invader.”

-”I’m almost offended you broke in.”

-”You know what, I hate to break it to you but this isn’t the worst thing [Y]’s done.”

“Mmmpff! MmmMMpH!”

-”You’re a hag-fucking kidnapper!”

“What the hell kind of insult is that?”

-”Sometimes you gotta follow your gut.”

“Into someone else’s property.”

Can I get some prompts about a thief who wants to jokingly steal a knife from a knife collector? *offers some birb seed*

oh man i wonder what verse this is for lmao

i also accept tim hortons

-”Xe will literally kill you.”

“It’ll be funny!”

“In the way vivisections are funny, yeah.”

-”Was that [X] diving out the window?”

“Xe stole a knife.”

Why?”

-”Okay so I’m thinking of taking a knife from [Z] and- where are you going aren’t you going to help?”

-”Is that [Z]’s knife?”

“Yeah! Can I hide it in here?”

“Go put it back.”

“But-”

Back!”

-”I’m gonna put ‘died of a shitpost’ on your gravestone.”

-”Xe won’t even notice it’s gone, xe has so many-”

What the fuck!!”

-”How did you even break in?”

“A good thief never reveals xir secrets!”

“Please tell me you didn’t use the vents.”

-”What are you doing in here?”

“Before I answer please put the cleaver down.”

-”I was honestly not expecting the sheer quantity of knives xe has.”

“How many did you steal?”

“Just one, I’m not planning on dying yet.”