“I am required by law to stop you from making dad jokes.” “Hi required by law to stop me from making dad jokes, I’m [X].”

HECK

“How about we introduce ourselves?” “The hell is up everybody, I’m [X] and I have a crippling fear of bodies of water I could possibly drown in under almost any circumstances.”

“I can feel the water in your blood, darlings.” The vigilante rolls xir shoulders and cracks xir knuckles and stares out over the hero and the villain, trapped and incredulous both. “It’s just dying to come out here and play with me.”

NICE

“What’s your cup size?” “My cup size? Actually I prefer mugs. But the cup size I usually go for is 16oz. Like the red party cups, y’know? You should buy some, you’re obviously extremely thirsty.”

o slam Dunked

Prompt 3: The villain calmly retracts xir knife from the copycat’s back, as the copycat gasps in pain. “Did you think I would be flattered, to have some amateur running around, ruining my reputation?” The villain asks. “I’m sorry, please, I’ll never do it again, *please*,” the copycat babbles.

and here’s the last one from Me in the Past god bless

Prompt 2: “Darling, I appreciate your strong moral compass, but any morality system that does not allow you to view yourself as a good person is one you should maybe take a second look at, hmm?”

god damn past!me thanks for numbering ur prompts u fuckin nerd

prompt: “What will you give me?” “Anything! Whatever you want!” “What a… dangerous thing to say. I like you, [A], so I’ll give you one chance to take it back.”

oh my god remember when I wasn’t a mod and I had to submit prompts through the askbox like a plebe god those were the days huh