xe/xir for the hero and ze/zir for the king. why not he/his? B.c i forgot king was a gendered title and i already had them down
(also the hero? gryffindor. I’m calling it. Xe’s literally neville.)
also this is much funnier if you’re assuming all of these prompts happen in the same universe
-The hero wheezed on every inhale, shaking down to xir very bones. But xe stood tall and fast through xir trembling and xe gazed the mad king in the eyes and said “I am afraid of you. And I will defeat you anyways, you mad bastard, because I am greater than you could ever be.”
-”You? You come to stop me?” the King booms “This weak, cowering worm is the dreaded [hero’s badass mother fucking title y’all]?”
The hero straightened xir shoulders and snarled, shaking fingers clasped tight around the hilt of xir sword. Xe could do this.
-”Oh shit!” screeched the hero, barely blocking the tyrant King’s sword “mother fucker!!! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-”
“Do you always speak so foully?” snarls the King as ze presses down on the hero’s crumbling defenses
“Fuck you!” spits the hero, knocking the king back, and fleeing (wailing like a banshee, and spitting curses foul enough to curdle the King’s blood).
-”I’m not afraid.” says the hero, literally on the verge of pissing xirself out of terror.
-”You could be so much more than this.” the King purrs, striding closer to the frozen hero. “Think about the things you could do if you got over that ridiculous anxiety.”
“And you think you can help me?” squeaks the hero angrily. Asshole. Who does this bastard think he is? As soon as xir joints stop icing over with terror, xe’s gonna shove xir sword into the pig bastards nasty throat.
-”Suck my dick!” screams the hero, hacking away at what’s left of the guard “Fuck! Why is it so dark! Fucking fuck!”
“Would you like a light?” comes the disembodied voice of the tyrant King.
“Oh shit I skipped my last diplomacy lesson-”
-”Wait-” says the hero “Wait a minute. You- I’m. Uhm- any chance I can, like, leave and come back and try again?”
-”A little child, shaking in xir armor has never been a threat.” says the King to the undercover hero “I wouldn’t prepare for a fly threatening to buzz by my ear, I won’t arm my guard for a whiny idealist infant.”
-”You’re a fool if you think you can stop the king.”
“You’re a coward if you don’t help me try.”
“Says you, little crybaby-”
“But I don’t stop and let things happen! I’m afraid, so what. I fight. Unlike you.”
-”Oh my god. Can we like, not. Fight.” says the hero, pulling into a ready position “Because I am so not ready. Ever. Please.”
“Prepare yourself, fool.”
“Fucking hell, listen to me when I speak.”