“Why are you helping me?”

“Because I can? Why shouldn’t I?_

“Employees are great conversation partners! They’re like a captive audience.”

“As a retail worker – if you even think about dumping your life story on a cashier again, I’m going to feed your liver to the next seagull I find.”

“You don’t look like you’re paying attention.”

“I’ve been standing in the same spot for an hour and a half. I’d struggle to pay attention to a bomb right now.”

“Fuck.”

“What? What is it? Is there something on the radar?”

“No, I ran out of yarn.”

“My gender is eyeshadow and five o’clock stubble.”

“When was the last time you had a good cry?”

“How dare you insinuate I’ve ever felt anything in my life.”

“Who’s X?”

“A mess.”

“I’m exhausted.”

“Then go to bed?“

“Absolutely not, don’t be absurd.”

“You were supposed to lightly sample the capitalism, not deepthroat it. Look at your economy, it’s got depression.”

What happened to submissions? Do y’all not do that anymore?

We do! But we like to keep a backlog of them so we can use them to fill in the gaps whenever the mods are too busy to get out all five prompts a day.

– mod sam