“You make it sound like there’s going to be a calamity if we don’t manage to kill this random ass person.” xe snorts “This just in, one dipshit isn’t going to cause the End Times. It’s like, two dozen dipshits with billions of dollars. Not some random ass fucker who can’t afford to replace xir shoes- look, they’ve been duct taped!”

”You know not who xe is-”

“Don’t care. Fix the Goddamn energy sector, then we’ll talk.”


“People keep forgetting that I used to be a hero, once,” says the villain “I suppose it doesn’t matter, though. Not after everything I’ve done.”

“No.” says the vigilante “It doesn’t. All you are is a monster now.”

“Ouch,” the villain pouts “You don’t love me anymore? C’mon, beloved. Don’t you miss me?”

“You stopped being my spouse the day you took up your new name, [Villain].” says the vigilante, deadpan “Just like you stopped being a hero.”

“Okay, so, consider- what if instead of killing [X] we showed xir mercy and arrested xir instead.”

“Sounds fake and also stupid.”

“But! We’d be doing a better act morally by not committing murder to stop a murderer.”

“Aren’t morals a kind of shellfish? I don’t see how that’s relevant.”

“Just because you can’t physically see a problem, doesn’t mean it’s not there.” says the hero to the sidekick “I have an invisible illness. It always used to annoy me, how no one would offer help or compassion when I was in a flare, just because I didn’t look like i was in pain. It’s easy to be a hero if you’re willing to look and help everyone, not just the people who clearly need it.”

“So if you’re in love with Death or whatever,” says the villain. “Why are you helping people? Seems counterproductive.”

The hero smiles, gentle and distant. “My love takes no joy in the dead who pass through xir hands. Instead of more work, I would grant xir rest.”