“You’re all I have left,” xe says “Unfortunately.”

“Yes, we all know how you feel about me, sibling.” ze rolls zir eyes “The lost child.”

“You abandoned your family.”

“I found my family,” ze snarls “And they are not you.”

“[X] is so intimidating.”

“…Dude, you know the new mothers who work here will leave their babies with [X] for a day or two while they get integrated back into the workforce? Because the daycare is slow about accepting applications and [X] is apparently willing to babysit endlessly for people xe barely knows?”

“…I don’t see it.”

“Right? Anyway, spend more than five minutes with xir and xe stops being intimidating, mostly because someone will hand xir a baby.”

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“Am I frightening to you?”

“Hn?”

“Do I scare you?” asks the half-monster “Do I make you nervous?”

“[X], earlier today you cried because a stomped on a spider.”

“The spider did nothing to deserve it!”

“Look,” ze frowns “Human or not, you’re a good person. Okay?”

“I have something to say to you all,”

“What’s up?”

“I- I’m trans.”

“Oh shit whattup!” hoots the other trans person in the rooms “This is great I got so many jokes I can teach you. And you can have my old clothes, my parents have been hanging on to them in case i ‘change my mind’.”

“…That’s kinda shitty.”

“A bit,” xe agrees “Congrats man. And thanks for telling us.”

“If you didn’t want to go down this path, you should have listened to me. You’re capable of making decisions, you know what you’re doing —”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” the villain shrieked, pulling xir sidekick close. “Ze’s fourteen! What the fuck were you doing at that age?”

“I’m not going to hurt you.” says the monster “Hold still. I’m kidnapping you so my sibling can take care of you. Xe’s been so depressed lately, I think that will help.”

“Don’t I get a say in this?!”

“Hold still and be a good therapy tool, will you?”

“Well, I guess I’m your parents now.”

“I have parents.”

“Shhh, child, let’s go to Denny’s and get milkshakes.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud,” says the witch “No, that’s a lie. You’re both goblin children and I should have expected this.”

“[Witch]-” starts the vampire, but the witch raises a hand to cut zir off.

“If you two are going to date, there is no tomfoolery in my shop,” says the witch sternly.

“We’re not dating! You’re misinterpreting the situation!” says the vampire desperately.

The alpha werewolf frowns “You don’t find me desirable?” ey signs “I thought we had something special.”

“You can’t have xir,” spits the villain “Xe’s mine, now.”

“Xe is my child-” the superhero starts, only to be cut off

“Really?” ze snarls “Where were you when xe needed help with xir homework, when xe wanted to talk about xir days. Xe may not be mine by blood, but xe is my child and I will never take that for granted.”

“Not to sound like a coward or anything but, [X]… you were really scary back there.”

“You were frightened?”

Xe nods.

“Aww, I’m sorry kiddo. I didn’t mean to scare you. C’mere. I promise I won’t do that kind of thing again around you, okay? You don’t have to be scared of me.”