“How are you feeling?” asks the therapist.

“Dead,” says the zombie “Full of birds. Also I went on a date last night.”

“You’re very sweet.”

“I’m really not.” says the zombie “I taste mostly like decay.”

“You’re letting a pigeon live in your chest and you brought me chocolates. Face it, you’re a marshmallow.”

“I’m a corpse.” The zombie protests, blushing furiously “I’m a corpse with vermin in my chest.”

“Too late, your secret has been discovered.”

“[X] is just a puppy,” grins the werewolf, gesturing to the sleeping child “Cute, right? When we’re young, people are too enamored by how cute we are. How non-threatening. You followed [X] right to our den because xe’s just a sweet kid.”

“Look, whatever it is you want.” starts the human, but the werewolf cuts zir off.

“See, the problem is,” the werewolf snaps “We grow up. We’re predators. And you? You’re prey.”

“You’re so fucking stupid, you know that right?” xe curses “You didn’t have to take that shot, [X]. I would be fine. I heal better than you do, you fucking human.”

“I’m f- fine,” ze grins shakily “Just a shoulder shot. It would’ve hit you- you in the spine.”

“Look- In this citadel, human beings don’t have rights,” warns the monster. “You should be more careful- be quieter.”

“Look,” says the human at a perfectly reasonable volume, drawing gazes from the other non-humans in the cafe (which isn’t supposed to serve humans at all) “I’m sure you mean well, and it’s sweet you’d warn me. But assuming I’m a dipshit blundering into danger I can’t handle instead of someone very dangerous who’s perfectly capable of breaking these laws and dealing with the consequences is a little insulting.”