“You’re moonsick,” says the witch, rolling xir eyes “It happens when the full moon comes on your menses. Symptoms include eating rude people because you’re hangry.”

The werewolf frowns “Well, make it go away.”

“Sorry! You’ll have to wait out the moon. Eat some ice cream so you’re less hungry next time you get catcalled.”

“Okay, okay. Here’s my final offer. I’ll give you a massage for 25 million dollars, and 69 cents.”

“Okay, first of all, I don’t even like massages-”

“How can you not like massages??”

“And second of all, why are you like this as a person??”

“I want large quantities of money for a relatively low labor cost.

“What could be more interesting than a thousand drunk, rich assholes scrambling to prove their moral worth by doing nothing productive at all?” xe says dismissively about the charity gala “I hate undercover work.”

“On the plus side,” teases xir partner “you get to murder the worst of them after this. If we don’t break cover.”