because i literally couldn’t not c’mon
“There’s a bat-”
“Don’t you fucking dare-”
“There’s a bat loose in Crime Alley!”
“Listen here you little shit that joke has been made a hundred times over-”
“I’m funnier than the joker is tho.”
“That is not hard!”
“Okay, I know I just moved here and Gotham has a habit of heckling the new comers, but I need you to answer me honestly.”
“Are Bruce Wayne and Batman dating? They sure seem to be raising a lot of kids together.”
“…Yes. Yes they are. That is exactly what’s happening.”
“Hey,” says a customer. The barista works at the only 24 hour coffee shop on this side of the Bowery line so it’s not unusual to get customers who are covered in blood walking in at three am. He has a red motorcycle helmet under one arm, and several guns.
“Hello,” xe says because this is pretty typical “What can I get for you.”
“How many espresso shots can I bribe you to put into a Frappuccino?” he grins disarmingly “I need it to be at least strong enough to wake the dead.
“My parents held an intervention for me last night.”
“They thought you were doing drugs?”
“They thought I was the new Robin.”