“You’re all I have left,” xe says “Unfortunately.”

“Yes, we all know how you feel about me, sibling.” ze rolls zir eyes “The lost child.”

“You abandoned your family.”

“I found my family,” ze snarls “And they are not you.”

“I don’t… how do I say this… like you.”

“Ouch.”

“You talk a big game,” says the vigilante, leveling xir sword at the hero’s throat “But are you really capable of the follow through?”

“What is this?” says the hero, raising a hand to lightly grip the blade “Why are you threatening me?”

“You said that we were in this together, no?” the vigilante presses the blade more firmly against the meat of the hero’s palm “But I’m starting to get the feeling you’re lying. About all of it, about everything. And I want to know why. Who are you, hero? What is it you’re really about to do?”

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“Hey there stranger- oh god, it’s you.”

“Hi. Glad to know you remember me.”

“Who? I’ve never met an [X] before. Bye.”

“Losing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to survive.” says the hero.

“I’m not dead,” says the villain “We can still be together.”

“Want to go on a date with me?”

“Without exaggeration, I’d rather cut off both my hands. You’re an awful person, I don’t like you, go away.”

“You’re a fool.”

“I’m kind, you mean. I’m not bitter and crass and cruel, like you, so that makes me stupid and naive.”

“Dance with me, my love?” says the villain, drawing xir sword “It’s been so long since we last embraced.”

The hero scowls. Whatever past they had is long over, now

“Whenever I’m around xir, I feel like the bastard child of an idiot and an asshole.”

“Don’t hang around them then. You’re better than that.”

“But xe’s my friend.”

“This has been a rule for months.”

“No?? Literally since when, you have never said anything about this.”