“Breathe.” says the witch “You’re too tense.”

“I’m fine.” the vampire snaps “I’m fine, everything is fine.”

“It’s a baby,” says the witch, exasperated “Not a bomb. You’re cradling a baby, congrats, this is an art passed down for centuries.”

“Where did the baby even come from,” says the vampire, shifting the little meat turnip around a little “Like, seriously. What the fuck.”

“Where do babies ever come from.” asks the witch rhetorically “The alpha found one in a pram somewhere and decided ‘mine now’.”

“You owe me no apologies,” says the witch slowly, gazing at the alpha from beneath lowered eyes “For what the previous alpha of your pack had done.”

The alpha doesn’t move at all, not so much as an errant twitch in eir jaw to betray what ey felt. Then, ey lifted eir hands “Doesn’t matter. Someone should have stopped it.”

“You did, obviously” the witch says “Isn’t that why you took over?”

The alpha blinks “No. I didn’t care about you at all, then.”

“You aren’t what I would call a good person,” warns the witch “This may hurt.”

“I know,” says the demon “But you can do it?”

“Judging the worth of a soul is simple,” says the witch, placing a black candle down on the coffee table “Even the soul of a demon’s. What are you going to do with that information?”

“Does it matter? Can’t a demon want to know xir spiritual worth?”

“Sure, but you aren’t really the introspective type.” the witch squints at the demon “Are you planning to buy something with it, you old fool?”

“I’m not happy with you.” says the witch, clearing the broken glass off the floor “But I’m not angry. You and [Alpha] roughhouse, which is fine. Just keep it out of the shop.”

“Right,” says the vampire, touching zir fingers together. They had knocked down a jar full of alligator bones “I-”

“It’s okay. Just- be more careful.”

“You’re alive,” signs the alpha werewolf “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” says the vampire. The sunlight is very bright “Did you know I wasn’t going to burn up when you shoved me off the balcony?”

“You need to listen to [Witch] more,” signs the alpha, waggling a finger disapprovingly “[Witch] said you will be fine!”

“So you didn’t know.”

“I trust [Witch].”

“So.” says the witch, looking over the sheer destruction of what used to be xir couch “What happened?”

“Well,” [Vampire] starts, but is cut off by [Alpha]’s shaky gesturing

“It was [Vampire]’s idea!” the alpha signs “I wanted to watch Lilo & Stitch but ze wanted to watch a scary movie!!”

“Traitor,” the vampire whispers.

The witch normally wakes slowly. Xe uses a great deal of energy in a day, running xir shop, and needs more rest than the average user of the Craft.


There’s someone in xir bed.

Xe cracks open an eye to see- unsurprisingly- the alpha werewolf cuddled to xir side like a lamprey.

“[Alpha],” xe croaks “[Alpha], what the fuck.”

“Mmphf.” the alpha grunts. Xir eyes glint yellow in the darkness of the room. Ey burrows closer, slings a leg across the witches hips.

“Oh my god. How is this my life.” the witch protests “Why are you in my bed? You live fifty kilometers away from here?”

“Mmph!” ey grunts.

“Oh my god???”

“Okay, so, here’s how this is going to work.” says the vampire “I’m going to distract the witch, and you’re going to smuggle the dog into the storage room before xe notices.”

The werewolf nods furiously.

“Before I notice what?” asks the witch from behind them “The two of you causing a ruckus, yet again?”