“Hello,” says the witch, pushing a baby into the alpha werewolfs arms “Someone left this at my shoppe so it’s yours now.”

“Where’s the dog,” asks the alpha “Dog dog dog! [Witch] says you have a new dog for me.”

“No!” protests the vampire, holding the puppy to zir chest “My dog!”

The alpha squints.

“No fighting over puppies in my shoppe,” says the witch from where xe’s been pretending to be asleep “Hand over the puppy, [Vampire].”

“You got to keep the dragon!”

“Yeah, ‘cause the dragon is a dragon and I’m an adult.”

“I’m an adult.” the vampire pouts.

“Are you really, though?”

“You’re not going to die,” says the witch “You’re already dead. Duh.”

“You aren’t very nice,” frowns the vampire “I’m afraid of heights.”

“I noticed. We’re twenty feet up. Just go for it.”

They’re standing on the middle-height diving board. [Alpha], in all eir alpha-ness had rented out a pool for the pack to use without worry of being a bunch of rowdy werewolves in public.

“I’m just going to climb down-” the vampire starts, only to be blocked by the witch’s hand. Xe is fully dressed, rings, layered robes, shoes and all.

“[Vampire]. Jump off the fucking diving board.”

“Kiss me?” signs the alpha

The witch blinks in surprise “Kiss you? Absolutely not.”

The alpha frowns, disgruntled “But witch, I am very cute, and you are very cute. I saw this in a book. Several books.”

“[Witch] and [Alpha], sitting in a tree!” the vampire hoots.

“Did you put eir up to this?” demands the witch.

“No, we’re not going to play that game,” frowns the witch “I’m not allowing this. It’s not allowed. I refuse.”

“But [Witch],” whines the vampire, holding the puppy closer to zir face “look at the puppy, [Witch], look how cute the puppy is.”

“We’ll take it to [Alpha]’s later.”


“No buts,” says the witch “I already have my quota of strays allowed in the shoppe. You can stay. The puppy will go.”

“Do not,” growls the witch “Kill the foolish human.”

The alpha frowns. Ey is sitting on the chest of some human, a stranger who had catcalled the witch using vulgar words, offense words.

The witch takes on a more patient tone of voice “Human culture involves being very rude to strangers, it’s not a murderable offense.”

“Rude,” alpha signs “Kill the human.”

“Please do not.”

“How do your roses always look so good?” asks the vampire “I tried growing some once, when I lived at home, and they didn’t make it three months.”

“Bodies.” says the witch “Lot’s of nutrients in bodies.”

“These are my dogs,” signs the werewolf to the TSA agent “This one is tea dog and this one is teethy dog and the others are all wolf dog.”

The TSA agent looks appropriately befuddled, so [Witch] assumes the agent doesn’t know sign which, thank goodness. Or maybe the agent does and doesn’t know what the fuck [Alpha] is on about.

“Relax, [Alpha].” says the witch “I’ll just.”

The TSA agent waves them all through easily enough, despite the non-airport safe materials they’re all carrying. It’s a good thing [Witch] knows enough of the mind arts to obscure how fucking weird they all are.

“Who is the Goodest dragon!” croons the witch, gently scratching at the dragons belly “Who is the goodest bird!!”

“God, what the hell.” says the vampire “It’s like stepping into the twilight zone.”

“[Witch] is a person,” signs the alpha “Xe gets happy, too.”

“Yeah but xe’s so stoic!”

“Someone has to be,” the alpha shrugs “Must be exhausting.”

“Goode, Goode dragon!” xe laughs

“Hello,” says the witch.

“Hello!” chirps the dragon back. The dragon has gone from the size of a small cat to a very large dog within a few months “Hello! Hello!”

“Is it just me,” whispers the vampire “Or is [witch] being cute?”

The alpha werewolf nods back furiously.