“What is that.”

“… I would figure it’s obvious.”

“[X]. You can’t wear stilettos while out vigilante-ing or whatever. Practical shoes only.”

“Oh the stilettos I thought you were talking about- well, nevermind. I’ll go grab my boots.”

“Looks like you’re in a rough spot, hero.” says the villain with sham sympathy “If only your friends would come and save you.”

“Wha- you’re very dramatic, you know that?” grumbles the hero, brushing snow off xir butt. Xe and the villain are hanging out in public, in their day wear “You could’ve just helped me up when I slipped.”

“Absolutely not. I am the hand of darkness.” sniffs the villain. Xir winter coat is lemon yellow “Now come on, the lines for popcorn are always long at this theatre and I don’t want to miss the beginning of the film.”

“You can’t have xir,” spits the villain “Xe’s mine, now.”

“Xe is my child-” the superhero starts, only to be cut off

“Really?” ze snarls “Where were you when xe needed help with xir homework, when xe wanted to talk about xir days. Xe may not be mine by blood, but xe is my child and I will never take that for granted.”

“My ability to give you the attention you require is… suffering, I know.” says the hero “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” shrugs the sidekick “Just means I’m closer to being an independent hero!”

“Well, the sheer amount of interest [Villain] in showing you is quite concerning. So! from here on out, I will be a better mentor!”

“Right.” says the sidekick, who is supposed to join [Villain] and xir sidekick for dinner in two hours “Sounds great!”

“People keep forgetting that I used to be a hero, once,” says the villain “I suppose it doesn’t matter, though. Not after everything I’ve done.”

“No.” says the vigilante “It doesn’t. All you are is a monster now.”

“Ouch,” the villain pouts “You don’t love me anymore? C’mon, beloved. Don’t you miss me?”

“You stopped being my spouse the day you took up your new name, [Villain].” says the vigilante, deadpan “Just like you stopped being a hero.”

“People are always afraid of meta’s like me,” says the civilian “Say we’re dangerous. Say we’re one wrong step from becoming some kind of- super villain, or what have you.”

“[X]. Put down the gun.”

“Exactly!” laughs the civilian “Exactly! I don’t need to be a meta to be dangerous. I just need fifty bucks to buy a gun. That’s it. Don’t you get what’s happening here?”