“What do you have,” sneers the monster “The hero chosen by the Goddex had Courage, the power to slay any being. You’re just a little child. No Courage, no Wisdom, no Power. What do you have?”

The hero chosen by exactly no one gives the monster a bright smile “A can-do attitude and a lot of swords.”

“Okay, theoretically,” says the not-god-chosen hero to xir friend (who maybe also happens to be in the process of devoting zirself to the goddex) “What I went to find the god chosen hero,”

“Okay,” says the friend “Where is this going?”

“I’m getting there, shh, anyway. What if I went to find eir. And then stole eir shit and took eir job?”

“[X] what the fuck did you do?”

“You are not god-chosen.” says the devotee, gazing down at the protagonist “This is no duty of yours. And yet, you have decided to take up the sword?”

“’Not god-chosen’ my ass,” xe responds angrily “Where is ze? Where’s the prophesied hero? The world has ended, has been ended for a hundred years. Where is ze?”

The devotee doesn’t respond. Xe bares xir teeth.

“Give me the sword.” xe growls “I’ll fix it.”

“Everything you’ve ever learned about the world is wrong. You-”

“Are the chosen one, fated to slay [Antagonist], are secretly a mage of vast magickal ability, and also have like, a soulmate, or some romantic bullshit. Yeah. I know. I am actively not getting involved with that.”