“Are you serious?” ey demanded, hands on hips. “All over the salad bar?”

The elemental sat atop the mortal’s workbench, watching in awe the carvings and trinkets xe made. From small statues of stone and wood to toys for, as the mortal explained, xir siblings’ children. The elemental barely understood most of what the mortal spoke, but ze would not have changed it. The mortal gave zem a comfortable place to rest, bundled in blankets before the burning hearth. Even though ze was no larger than a house cat, the mortal cared for zem all the same as though ze was a being of xir size..

The clash raged across the countryside, staining the sky black and carving fissures and scars into the earth beneath their feet as they howled and screamed, hurling eldritch power at one another like it was nothing, caring not for the mortals below. The twin creatures from beyond the heavens scored deep wounds and yet did not stop.

One of the unlucky folk below could have sworn xe heard one of them howl, “It was my turn with the TV!”

The siren’s eyes were black and glassy. Very little light reflected off them- more like empty pits than pools of glass.

“Hello,” says the hero chosen by no one “I’m here to help.”

“You’ll drown trying,” warns the siren “but follow me, unwanted one.”

The thief-king lounged on xir throne, dressed in finery and oozing luxury. A devious, dark smile played across xir lips as xe watched the viper in xir fields of thieves cross the room to have an audience with xem. The thief-king would allow zir misdirection and deviance no longer.

“Heck,” says the fae-born “You were lying to me?”

“Not on purpose,” ze says “I didn’t know the truth, then. Now that I do, I’m telling you.”

“Oh,” the fae-born relaxes “Oh, good. If you were lying to me deliberately we’d be fucked because I’d have to kill you.”

“What’s wrong?”

“What isn’t?” xe frowns “We’re all going to die.”

“We’re not,” ze rolls zir eyes “Don’t be so fatalistic. So the world outside is full of zombies trying to eat us alive. None of us have been bitten yet.”

“About that,” xe says.

“You’re all I have left,” xe says “Unfortunately.”

“Yes, we all know how you feel about me, sibling.” ze rolls zir eyes “The lost child.”

“You abandoned your family.”

“I found my family,” ze snarls “And they are not you.”

“I’m in love with you,” xe says “Which is very unfortunate for me because you’re kind of a terrible person.”

“I crave peace,” says the leader of the revolution “But I know not it’s sweet embrace. We’ll carve out our freedom in blood.”

“There must be a better way!”

“We’ve tried.” says the leader “We’ve tried kindness and they see it as passivity, they don’t care for our attempts at a better life. They don’t care for us. So we’ll remove them from our way.”