“I’m pregnant.”

“We’ve never had sex?”

“I know but dude, I can’t go to the father- please you have to help me.”

“Sometimes I like to think about what my life had been like if I had never met you.”

“And?”

“It’s different- sometimes I’m well-off, sometimes I never managed to pull myself through high-school. But I’m always missing something.”

“Please stop screaming.”

“FUCKING MAKE ME YOU TWAT FACED CUNT FUCKER!”

“I love you.”

“I don’t.”

“Oh, your God told you that, of course Xe did.”

“Well not all of us can be a Godless heathen intent on shutting his ears from any kind of Divine assistance.”

“I don’t need Divine assistance, I have you.”

“…Did you just breathe fire?”

“I’ll explain later, for now just run.”

“Because he’s a vivacious cunt, that’s why!”

“Have you considered my offer?”

“You mean your thinly veiled command? Yes. I did.”

“And?”

“Your words are poison and I hope you choke on them!”

Would you guys be interested in a list of insults? I know I have trouble with coming up with insults at the opportune moments and I keep stealing ones from all over

“What’s up, cunts!”

“Of course, the first thing you say to us after dying and being reincarnated would be that”